Raiden — Metal Gear

Note: Fictionkind have gotten the short end of the stick since their inception. Not only to one extreme: otherkin largely regarded the emerging concept of fictionkin as spineless and irrational, whereas, in modern discourse, fictionkind are now raging fanatics who take it all too seriously — or have their fictionality minimised to make the "just relating" crowd comfortable. I can't deny stigma still makes me blush a little in shame to express being fictional.

I'm not given to ascribing metaphysical explanations like reincarnation to my own kintypes, but I don't want anyone to come away thinking I mean it's an insignificant fantasy to me, either. It's quite profound for me. For one reason or another, I had imprinted on Raiden two decades ago. In the early 2020s, when I revisited the Metal Gear Solid series for the first time since childhood, it added necessary context for what went on in my mind in the years since I first 'met' him. This time around, I had some words to describe it.

Raiden is a defining aspect of my self; I view the more human-specific parts of life through him. You could say the bestial and human halves of me are split between Tiger and Raiden, respectively. I recall vivid noemata that span a large period outside of the visible story. Sometimes, I feel the phantom sensation of machinery over my own flesh, especially the hands, feet, and mandible. When I dream, I experience the dream as Raiden most of the time, regardless of the content.

Rose is as loved by me as she was when we were together. On both a sentimental and literal level I see myself as her husband. I've even built a few webpages for her. I don't think words can truly express what I still feel for her. A vital part of my fictionhood is keeping my dear wife close in this world in almost memorialesque ways.

Being a fictional character is a key 'role' for my life. I bear the things I learned and experienced then and interact with the world better through this insight. As I said, it's important to me to not cast aside Rose's significance. I dote on her a lot. I don't think so highly of myself to go through my current life demanding people treat or recognise me as this video game character specifically. I just act like anyone does; only I know why I carry myself the way I do. Sometimes those close to me pick up on similarities and go the extra mile associating us, but often not. It doesn't bother me.

As for 'what' I am on an alterhuman level: the cyborg is science fiction's classic model for the boundary of humanity versus non-humanity; even beyond that, as biological versus mechanical. I felt more human than artificial, even if it was sometimes an inner point of contention. It's something I continue to echo now.

I traded defining myself as 'nonhuman' with identifying more closely with 'alterhuman' in itself, as I felt it was important that at least some of my humanity remain visible. It would be a disservice not to.