Published: 26/01/2023

Last Updated: 28/01/2023

I tend to label my experiences as a therianthrope as psychological. I don't see my tiger theriotype as spiritual or a past life, I experience very little noemata and nothing that I would label as a memory, so unfortunately this page will be much less detailed compared to the one for my fictotype. I think my therianthropic identity was most likely influenced by me being autistic and finding solace in animals and animal behaviour. Perhaps my brain developed an identity as a wild animal because that's what made more sense than me being human, or maybe it's an identity I was born with and that would have been there no matter what. I don't think I could ever know for sure.

My history in the therian community begins in 2015. I was introduced to the community after an internet friend in a wolf roleplaying group made an offhand comment about being a therian. I asked what they meant, and when they explained it, I thought it was amazing that there was a word and community for something I had experienced since I could remember. I've always been a nonhuman animal in mind and heart, always instinctively reacted in line with an animal rather than a human, always felt animalistic teeth, claws, and ears over my own body, always looked at animals as brothers rather than a different species to me.

I cycled through many different theriotype species throughout my time in the community, my identity only settling on one true form recently as I've gotten older and developed a more stable sense of self. It was at this point I figured out I was a tiger. I've always related to the aloof outlook of solitary cats and their connection to the wild. The tiger is a striking animal, and one that I can look at and really see myself in. It makes perfect sense to me for me to be a tiger. It's very difficult to explain it any more than that, I just saw it and knew.

I consider myself always shifted at some level. Certain situations and triggers can make that shift more intense, but generally it runs in the background at a constant level. The most common phantom limbs I experience are paws, mane, nictitating membrane, and canine teeth. My behaviour is distinctly feline but noticeably domesticated, not like a pet cat but like a captive tiger raised around humans. I am not sure whether this is due to living in human society, or because my theriotype is a captive tiger habituated to humans. I like to incorporate parts of a tiger's life into my own where it is safe for me to: I eat a lot of meat, mimic the vocals of a tiger, and let myself express feline behaviours and movements where appropriate. I also try to spend time outside in nature, when disability doesn't prevent it.

I commonly experience dreams where I am a tiger, or I am human-bodied with the ability to walk quadrupedally and truly act like a tiger. I find these dreams both comforting and painful, as it feels as if the form and life I could have is being dangled teasingly in front of me, but I do appreciate the experience these dreams give me.

I experience pretty bad species dysphoria at times, but nothing debilitating. I can appreciate my human body and the abilities and intelligence it gives me, but I find myself yearning for a tiger's body often and I lament the struggles I have in my physical body and in living in human society.

I find that my gender mixes with my animal-self. I consider myself male in the way a tiger is, and genderless in the way a human is, and I don't think a traditional gender transition would cover what I need. My ideal form would be a mix of feline and masculine traits, in a way that I can't really achieve right now. If technology and societal views advanced to the right point, I would gladly modify my body to have more distinctly feline attributes like whiskers, fangs, digitgrade legs, and even fur.