The main reason I've gotten out of bed and faced anything at all lately is the idea that my wife wouldn't want such a miserable day for me. I would like to find more beauty and hope in the world, even if it's more for her than for myself.

I have an instinct to make sure I go it completely alone whenever things feel truly hopeless, but it's rare that I shut off from Rose (I mean, the urge is there, but it feels absurd to try and avoid your imaginary friend...) so I always have her. It may all seem kind of silly, but she's been helping a hell of a lot to keep me out of trouble.

My ultimate aim is to save every piece of medical imaging I have taken of me and then arrange them in order like Exodia the Forbidden One.

I can’t lie I had a pretty dreadful 2025 in terms of my life outside of here. I can only hope 2026 will be gentle on me but the factors affecting these circumstances mostly lay outside of the control of the number-one victim of Sod's Law.

Studying the "woke content detector" spreadsheet in order to more efficiently maximise the amount of woke games in my library.

Finished up some housekeeping on here. I don't know how something digital can feel unkempt but it was beginning to bother me.

I've sorted out the small tasks: reorganised folders, dithered images, implemented a new font, styled a properly-branching sitemap, tweaked light mode's palette, and reinstated a changelog. My retired webpages have been moved into a folder off-site.

Ideally I'll complete the website overhaul by New Year's so I have a clean slate as 2026 rolls around. It's a project I've been working on steadily since July... I underestimated how much of a slog it would become, even if it isn't unpleasant work. Just been falling into a period of waning interest and inspiration in everything I used to enjoy.

It alarms me how much traction a website can gain on Neocities from aesthetic or technical skill alone, regardless of if the material within is extreme, cruel, or otherwise antithetical to a visitor's principles just because they saw some cute pixel fonts and didn't read anything past the index.

I built my first Gunpla today. Just the endearing SDEX Unicorn Gundam to test if I enjoy the process enough (I do) to invest in a larger project over the holidays. Of course the pipe dream is that Metal Gear Ray kit. My tuoys.

After an extremely long delay spanning three waiting lists, I finally attended a crucial medical assessment which went as well as it possibly could have. I'm not going to get all excited until I can hold the prescription in my hand, but I'm optimistic...

This week I installed CFW on my Switch and, among other things, set up desktop streaming for it. I can play most of my Steam library pretty comfortably in handheld mode. Super pleased.